Dreaming Dreams
by Miss Momolo
Summary: Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Edgar Allan Poe Now will be multi chap
1. Acid Dreams

**A/N: Hi, guys! So I written this because-nah, I needed to write something since I'm in a standstill with the story Unthinkable I don't know what to do. I also written to tell the readers that it might be a while before I update Unthinkable (readers who haven't read the story feel free to do it and give your opinion because I really need direction). For this well, this is a one-shot. Hear Cloud Atlas - Sextet (extended version) it really motivates you. **

The tears felt like acid as they raced down my face. The words felt as tangible as that feeling you get at the top of your stomach when you see _him _after a long time. His eyes traveled like the waves do when they reach the shore, up and down. My heart, oh my _heart!_- it was running and it was stopping- indecisive, like this moment.

As he came closer my pulse quickened and I tried to control my breath. I think, try to find an explanation to why I'm so nervous. When he said my name it felt like the wind paralyzed inside my lungs and a lump started to form in my heart. It felt like a tumor of over joy, it would be a ridiculous act trying to hold my tears in. I believe I will forever stay a fool.

Its grace was infinite and just as I remember when he left fifteen years ago and even though I have not seen him since he is, I think, permanently frozen in time. His stride is just as elegant as he shortened the remainder distance between us.

The sun is finding its bed at the bottom of the earth and it seemed, not so farfetched from the truth, to form any idea that he came in agreement with the fiery sun so as to spotlight his silhouette as he made his return.

It was strange, as I thought in my head, that I took no mind in my appearance. It was no lie that my days as an appealing child had reached its end and although much suspected that I would grow into a beautiful woman I have failed to accomplish anything but. I am less than average, so that I can't even find words to describe myself. Maybe the only reason why I still haven't married. Men want beautiful women. Perhaps being in his presence again reminded me that he wasn't a judging man as most are… possibly because he is no man.

He was close- so close, just a few feet away, his features at a reasonable distance for me to refresh my memory. In three seconds more he would be standing in front of me.

One.

I recalled that I should say something memorable.

Two.

Perchance pronounce his name. I haven't in so long…

Three.

I sighed, his eyes were like heavy rocks weighted on my fragile form as he looked down at me.

I opened my mouth, then thought particularly in what I intended to communicate. A silver of a thought came to mind.

"I,"I said slowly as for him not to miss anything, "hate you."

He looked passive, not affected. It burned my chest more… with longing, with sadness, with hatred. I have not seen him for fifteen years and it hurt that he abandon and betrayed me in this forsaken village but it hurts me more that he's not even affected by this- by my words, by my presence. Who does he think he is? Simply returning as if he left fifteen days ago instead of years?

"I hate you!" I screamed as a surge of pain was revoked in my heart.

Slowly the earth started to shake, the sensation under my feet. Though, oddly, my body wasn't moving with the reaction. When I looked up I saw his face crumpling, turning to dust and slowly disappearing. I only made out the words as they left their lips and he unhurriedly turned to nothing.

As I wake I could still hear his words in my head. "I'm sorry."

I dwell upon crying, that's how I normally vent out my emotions but this time I decided I would be strong. For me.

I sit, trying to assert that I'm in the present and in a way I make any fogginess disappear completely. I breathed in. I couldn't handle how mad I was, how lonely I felt or I disappointed the moment tasted. This is the first time I dream of _him_. I never had even when I was with him in earlier years. The elder's say that dreams are visions of the future. I'm not sure I quite believe it. I just see them as unreachable mountains, forsaken places.

I end up telling myself that it was just a dream, that's what it was. I think, for a few seconds, that maybe not just a dream that you find in sleep but things you yearn too. But I don't yearn…. Not anymore. Not_ him_.

I _despise_ him. I live a lonely life of fifteen years that even marriage and kids can't fix.

I lay down in my cot and turned to the side, curling. Curling always made me feel better, it made me feel small. If I could just curl until I disappear. If I could just…

I felt something burn at my face as I realize I was crying. I conclude that I can't even do things for myself. Can't even fight, no less be strong for my sake.

I hear the words again in my head. They play like a symphony. My tears come a little more quickly.

Suddenly I shot up as I hear_ him_, not in my head, nor a dream. In real life, outside. In the small curtain that serves as a door I see a white figure.

I listen again, not trusting myself completely. But then "Rin."


	2. Dare to Die

**A/N: Hi, guys. So I don't know why I decided to continue this. This was supposed to be a one-shot and after a month something came to me and I had to write it. I warn though that updates to this story are going to be slow as I sort out the plot line plus I'm writing another Sessrin chapter story so priorities first. This is sort of like a what if fic. What if Sesshomaru left Rin, what if not like the manga he doesn't visit, what if Rin no loger loves Sessh (Sorry I suck at explaining) Romance here will be at a minimal because I want to write more of action and fights and Rin finding herself blah blah but if my little heart cant she will surly make very fluffy scenes. This is my first fik multi chap that I write in first person. Review if you like. I hope you can stick with this story. Thanks :))**

I was never one of the pretty ones. I never received flowers from boys and no one ever wrote me a poem about sunsets and wishing stars. I knew that I was the last thing on everyone's mind. If the world rumbled and irrupted in flames I'd be the first to die, everybody would be too busy saving themselves or others to care for me. So consequently when I turned 13 I asked Inuyasha to teach me how to wield a sword. He didn't even told me how scrawny I looked or how impossibly thin I was, he just took a moment to look at me quizzically before accepting. I guessed that he had thought the same thing I did when I came to him. I was pleased, at least if the world broke into one million pieces I would have the courtesy to say that I died trying. Thus became my intense training that has continued as of today.

First Inuyasha instructed me to gain some weight and do some exercise. I started eating meat and carbs and in the afternoon I'd squat, do abdominals and carry sacks with dozens of rocks to one point and another. After 4 months I gain 30 pounds and could run for an hour without tiring. When he was pleased he started my training. 2 years later I could wield a sword without fearing that I would cut myself or that my opponent would hurt me instead. I reacted faster, forming my next attack of my next attack and the opponent's in seconds. The villagers saw my progress from afar and when they were satisfied with my development they put me on a small force that protected the village of ambushes or attacks from outsiders. Once it dawn on me I realized that I was still as invisible as ever, that because I was in a small force didn't mean I was part of it. I was to them someone who would faster be disposed of when the opportunity came, I was- rather ironically- going to die first protecting my people. I would be someone's replacement and it wasn't even about trying.

The first attack I was in was a pack of 5 demon dogs destroying the village. They didn't explain their sudden outburst. With Inuyasha receding here there had been this mute agreement with the demons that no one can venture near the village perimeters. Of course there had been bandits and enemies attack but never those of demons. It was strange. I wanted to hide or run somewhere and stay there until it was over. I didn't want to die in somebodies place, somebody who didn't even know my name. They were powerful, too much for any of us to handle. One was enough to keep Inuyasha busy, what were we to handle this?

The others decided to be killed off, trying to hold off the demons that were setting the village in flames and murdering our children. For me? I was frozen in shock and awe. I didn't dwell much on the past as one is used to but without my consent I was transported to one particular scene of so many years ago familiar to this one, left paralyzed. Something like this happened when I was just a kid, leaving me orphaned and alone, left in somebodies village to be beaten for trying to keep myself alive. At that timed I wished I was strong, wished that I could have the power to kill them, all of them. They were dark thoughts for a children and I knew very well that my childhood was corrupted but now those thoughts don't seem so insane. In that moment I came back, my instincts on high alert and I was angry.

Blinded by rage I made my first kill. He was the only one left. The villagers where amassed after words and celebrated for three days and Inuyasha was so struck that he called a Smith and made me a sword. I name it Mishiranu meaning unknown, because even though I saved these people I still remained unknown. Later Kagome offered to instruct me in the bow and arrow and Sango in slaying. With time I became the protector of this village. I was just fifteen.

I'm twenty three now and outside's a demon.

I stiffened, pretending to slumber. My heart was pulsing in my ears as my mind raced, trying to make sense of things. I remembered something crucial and all at once I controlled my heart and my breath. Demons could sense changes, smell and hear fear.

I opened my eyes slightly, seeing how he opened the curtain, surveyed the area and then left. I felt hurt, though I didn't let it show on my body.

He-Sesshomaru had called my name, was obviously looking for me. But he turned and walked away right in front of me. He was confused that was clear and bluntly obvious. First, because my sent is everywhere around this village, fifteen years' worth of going around and through this place. Second, I no longer look like I use to fifteen years ago. My hair is cut above my shoulders (for fighting reasons of course)and even though I still style my bangs I no longer wear that pig tail at side of my head. My body is slick and rough wearing more scars and bruises than perfumes and flowers. My face is oval with plain looking features and if it weren't for my kimono styling blossoms I would be mistaken for a fragile looking boy. So, I do not blame him. Rather I can't explain the anger I feel of his presence here. Why was he here anyways?

I burry my frustration and I wait a few seconds before I grab Mishiranu from the right wall. The villagers no less the force had notice him here, proving that he was as slick and as smooth as fifteen years ago. More if Inuyasha hadn't even the inkling sense of his presence. I'm surprise he's not here as we speak. Which leaves the responsibility of me dealing with him all on my shoulders. I have to take care of it, ignoring whatever relation I had with him in the past. Not that it matter to me anyways but a warrior doesn't let his judgment get entangled with his feeling. Though if they are of anger and hatred I do not think it applies.

He may be slick but I'm soundless on my feet, earning my name as the unknown (even if I am the only one who named myself that), so with much confidence I slip out of my hut and take another route so I can ambush him from the front. I can hear the village sleeping and I take cautions steps further, sticking to the walls and having my sword drawn.

It takes a few minutes for me to locate him, viewing his shadow approach in-between huts but I'm prepared for my small ensnarement. I coach my muscles and take a deep breath. My eyes are locked on the shadow as it comes closer still, ready to strike when the times permit when suddenly it disappears out of thin air.

"Nice try, human." His voice makes my heart drop and if I was 12 I would have cried. But she can't and even if she wanted to he had his sword drawn on her neck. Though it would have worked if my sword wasn't drawn on his neck too. I bite back a reply; I was never one to gloat or believed myself superior like Inuyasha usually does of things concerning life or death. I always thought that I'd had to eat my words if I was killed.

Sesshomaru growls as he removed the sword from my neck and so do I and we both take distances, preparing for the match to come.

When I do speak I say," What do you want, demon?"

I try to imagine how my voice sounds to him, to a stranger. It sounds commanding and very deep for a woman. I can't help think that I sound like a 40 year old woman. It doesn't matter because it doesn't crack or swirls.

I think that not honoring his name like I used to seems odd and pretending like I don't know him feels hollow. But I don't care.

"No importance to a mortal like you," he said and like that we start to fight.

After a few minutes all was proving pointless. He hasn't hit me with a blow and I hadn't either. He hadn't said anything as his concentration only focuses on killing me, and all I hear is the clicks of metal of our swords finding each other. I start to sweat and I'm worried that with the cold October night I'll end up catching a cold. That is if he doesn't kill me first.

I think he comes to a same line of thought because he takes some distance from me . I don't even intend on following him as I try to control my heavy breathing. I can see from this point that he is trying to calculate another way of sending me off, his eyes look clouded but alert. This is going nowhere so as I but on a cold unfeeling mask I ask "What do you want with Rin?"

I know that if I do not utter the words I might as well never know. It's probable that he won't tell me anyways but maybe if I drive him to it maybe he'll give.

He looked shocked for a second. Maybe he thought I didn't heard. Though all too quickly his face contorts to a frown. "None of your concern, pest."

Just like I thought.

I tried to look bored as I say "I know her."

It happened so suddenly that I had to assert myself when I find my back driven to a wall his claws digging in my neck. I try to take steady breaths but they come as gasp. I try to rip them off but he is ten times stronger than me.

His face looks exaggerated, his eyes flowing red and his marks growing wider and bigger. He is trying to control his demon form. If I could swallow I would.

"If you value your life, human, you would tell me. This is of outmost importance and I can't waste my times fighting a petty female." He growled, digging his hands further.

Even though I feel like my lungs might explode I try to look unfazed. I have too kook in control. I try to find my voice as I answer. "I would but you first have to tell me why you're looking for her."

He looked as my face as if searching for any cue of bluff. When he doesn't see anything his nails –which if my memory is correct contain poison- penetrate a little bit though my neck. "Fine. Die."

I can't help think how ironic this is. How I'm dying in the hands of someone who saved my countless times. Someone who doesn't even remember me. I see spots in my vision and I'm about to pass out when I hear Inuyasha yell, "Rin!"

I feel the tiniest release around my neck and I want to say 'It's about time you got here' but it's very possible that I'm mute now. Or again.

When I open my eyes I see that Sesshomaru's face has turned to normal. He is looking at me confused, perplex, and shocked as tears form in my eyes as I take bitter breaths, cough, and breathe again.

I have my eyes locked to Sesshomaru's when I hear Inuyasha command, "Step away from her, brother." He probably has his sword drawn.

Sesshomaru looks at the marks he probably left in my neck and sees one of my scars, the one that starts from my left ears and ends at my left collar bone. I want to cover myself up, to hide my face up. But I can't and I won't as I lift my chin. I can still preserve my dignity.

"Rin?" He said my name like he did on my dream. The same anger from earlier overcomes me but I keep it under control.

I don't confirm nor deny it but my silence is answer enough.


End file.
